Dirty Denizens of Dairy Queen

randfish — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 20:05:16 CDT

Last week, while ordering a cool frosty at the indoor counter, I watched a man, struggling with his own girth, pass out while standing at the condiment bar in the Dairy Queen on Aurora Avenue. If the monstrous sound alone did not alert the generally downtrodden diners to the event, the great rumble created by the force of the fall surely did.

Sadly, this fall landed our mammoth-proportioned subject onto his tray of 3 double-bacon cheeseburgers, two fries, a chocolate shake and a sprite, the contents of which found their way into the various caverns of the folds between his skin and garments. The remainder of this unseemly mass squirted out from under his body, creating a dispersion of foodstuffs that was remarkable to behold. One would presume a cannon had been fired, flaying the trash cans and nearby tables with a veritable smorgasbord of the restaurants offerings.

Luckily, I escaped, unharmed, with my frosty. Nothing like a cool, refreshing, ice-cream-flavored treat to cheer up the day.

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randfish — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 20:04:22 CDT

You've found it.... the place to read, share and fall over stunned by horrible restaurant experiences. If you've been made to:

Run screaming from your table, frothing at the mouth
Shriek in disgust, shock or abject terror at something placed before you, tasted, swallowed or witnessed
Call the Police, Fire Department, Ambulance or Poison Control Center while dining out

This is the site for you.

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Dirty Denizens of Dairy Queen

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